Big Mac Attack – The End of Innocence

 Unfortunately, I was unable to make the Skiatook Dam ride.  I thought that was where all the adventure would be.  With Keith leading and all; but then everybody assumes that.  With the impending HHH coming up, I did think I had better get some HOT miles under my belt.  I plotted a 100k course around B’ville where I wouldn't be too far from a pitstop every 15 miles or so.  I also had excellent SAG support from my wife and kid.  A thanks goes out to the family.  Just what was the point of this story?


Oh yes, on the way out 123 to Woolaroc, I got pummeled by what I think was a 65 MPH Big Mac.  I believe I saw Special Sauce as it bounced off my knee.  The car was an old, faded, red General Motors something.  I was on the section with a wide shoulder and 2-3 feet off the line.  Just what would bring somebody to pitch a burger out the window?  I might say they were a good shot, but then they were probably aiming for my head.  Then I have to think.  Why would somebody throw away a Big Mac?  Did they buy it with the intention of  finding a biker?  Did they buy two and decide they weren't that hungry?  Had it been sitting in the car for a few days and they finally found just the right trash receptacle?  Are they a Trek rider and didn't like the colors of my Specialized?  Did they know that I secretly don't like the Big Mac?  The questions are endless.  I was picking off lettuce and wiping away the Special Sauce for the next 40 miles.


This all leads to the end of my innocence.  I used to think my worst enemies were the dogs.  I kept reminding myself to get some pepper spray just in case they are too aggressive and I don't have the energy to outrun them.  Off subject... Will I ever feel safe again?  Will I wince every time a car passes?  What if the culprit only had a beer bottle handy rather than the Big Mac?  Will I have post traumatic stress syndrome?  Will I recoil in fear as I pass by McDonald's or more so, when I pedal by a McDonald's?  Okay, probably not.  I'm being a bit dramatic.  It does make me wonder what other people have experienced.  I would be interested to hear other stories.


On a different note, if I can keep up the pace I did on Saturday I should probably make Hell's Gate, assuming they don't close it early.  That also assumes I attempt the 100 miles.  Oh, and that there aren't any more Big Mac Attacks.

Note:  Avoid these on bike rides!  Unless of course you stop and buy one.